When I came home from school, Mum was wearing her serious face. 

 

We need to talk

 

We’re talking now

 

No, I mean talk. Please, sit down

 

This is worrying. Mum never says please, and we never talk, she just barks orders from the other side of the room. Then it dawns on me…

 

            She is going to tell me that Dad has died

 

I have been dreading this moment ever since he got ill. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes, as I brace myself for the worst. Mum looks shocked.

 

Hey, hey, Jan, what is wrongwith you? This is goodnews

 

Really?

 

Yes! You know that pool you fell in the other day?

 

Like I’d forget the most important moment of my life!

 

Well, I’ve been looking into it…

 

Into the pool?

 

No not like that, I mean researching it.

 

And what did you find.

 

That it’s unsafe. I mean, you could have drowned. There are no signs, no warnings, it is, literally, a death trap. So, I put my campaigning head on and had a word with ‘The Powers That Be’ and the good news is…

 

She pauses for effect, like they do on the telly.

 

They’re going to drain it!

 

She waits for me to be proud.

 

It takes a few moments for her words to sink in. To be honest, I was so relieved my Dad is alive that I kind of stopped listening, but now the truth sinks in. It’s not Dad who is going to die, it’s Mia! Mum smiles, all smug,

 

So, thanks to you, all the children will be safe!

 

Again, she waits for me to be proud. A look of horror floods my face.

 

MIA IS GOING TO DIE AND IT’S ALL MUM’S FAULT!

 

It’s not a pool we’re talking about here, it’s Mia’s home. It’s where she lives and thanks to Mum’s stupid meddling, they’re going to drain it. It’s mermaid murder! The one good thing in my life and Mum is going to kill it, in a horrible way, by suffocation. I stomp off to my room and Mum shouts after me,

 

What!?! What did I do now?

 

I slam the door behind me.

 

I hear Mum throw something. I think it’s a mug. It’s not the first time she has done this, she is a really angry person. She is angry because Dad is ill. She is angry because she spent all those years studying medicine and can’t cure him. She is angry because she lives in this country, has a crummy job and a son with a stain on his face. None of which is my fault.

 

Mum vents her anger online. She signs endless petitions like, save the tiger, stop fracking and support the separatists. I have no idea who the Separatists are, or what they want to be separate from, but whatever it is, it makes Mum angry. Every hour that Dad is awake, she cares for him. Every hour, he is asleep, Mum spends harassing big companies but of course, they never listen. No massive multi-national company ever sees Mum’s signature and says,

 

You know what? That woman from Tesco? She’s right! Let’s stop making all of this money and go hug a tree

But that doesn’t stop Mum. She keeps on ticking those boxes because she wants someone to blame…

 

For Dad’s Cancer

For The Stain

For the false promise of Happily Ever After

And the near death of her son

 

She yells at my door.

 

What is wrongwith asking the question, why wasn’t there a sign? Why wasn’t there one thing warning you not to fall in?

 

What Mum fails to realize is that a “Don’t Fall In” sign is a really bad idea. If you need a sign telling you NOT to drown, no sign is going to save you.

 

Mum loves to portray me as a victim. It was her who came up with the headline…

 

DISABLED BOY FIGHTS PREJUDICE

 

…because to Mum, I’m not a kid, I’m the disabled community, the Polish community, the ‘Tragic But Brave’. When the truth is, I’m none of those, I’m just me.

 

A thought begins to form in my head, as hard and sharp as a blade:

 

I MUST SAVE MIA

 

*       *       *      *      *

 

That night, I lie in the bath and let Mia wash over me. She wants me to play but I don’t. I just lie there, knowing that soon, her life may end. It’s a terrible thing to know the future, to know your girlfriend will die.

 

I ‘tell’ Mia not to worry. That I’ll visit her this weekend, but it’s a long wait until Saturday.

Three whole days of school.

​​

 

DAY ONE:

 

            Hey, Jan

 

Croaks Dad.

 

                        There’s a book, on the floor

 

Dad dropped it but can’t bend down as he’s wired up to a bag, the bag that keeps him alive. I pick up the book and look at the title: The Little Mermaidby Hans Christian Anderson. He thinks I’m a child.

 

Dad smiles and for a brief moment, he looks like my Dad. The Dad who made me laugh out loud and would race me to the next lamppost. But now he doesn’t smile so much and when he does, it’s forced.

 

I go back to my room and chuck the stupid book in the place I hate most, on the big pile of homework.

 

• ​

 

DAY TWO

 

Jug is in detention, so I’ve no-one to talk to. At a loss for what to do, I reach into my homework bag and The Little Mermaid falls out.

 

The book starts off, as you’d expect, in a faraway undersea world, “where the water is as blue as the prettiest sunflower”. Yuck! It is so cheesy! I have seenthe undersea world and it is notpretty. It is black, scary and so cold, it sucks the life out your body. I didn’t see one, “undersea palace full of twinkling lights and pretty princesses”just Death.

 

I scan through the book with a sneer, flicking through page after page. The only good bit is when The Little Mermaid, the one who was much prettier than all the other princesses (I’m thinking Lauren Hope with a tail) saves the Prince from drowning. It reminded me of me, except I was saved by Jug.

 

I am half-way through the book when I sense someone watching me. I look up to see Neat’s legs, all skin and bone. I go back to my book, refusing to look up. I put my fingers in my ears, trying to block out the wet sound of her mouth, as she chews gum like a camel.

 

What are you reading?

 

A book

 

Really?

 

Yeah

 

She’s going to do something nasty, I just don’t know what it is. Yet.

 

            Has it got a name? This book?

 

            Yeah, Johnny

 

            You think you’re funny, don’t you? Hey you, Jam-Face, I’m talking to you

 

I look up, unplug my ears and sigh.

 

            What do you want,Neat?

 

            Nothing. I’m just saying hello.

 

You told people I dived in the pool? Why would you dothat? 

 

Because if I’d said that you were pushed, it’d sound like Jug was trying to kill you and we both know he wasn’t. Jug may be many things, but he is not a killer.

 

Unlike you

 

And how’s that?

 

Because you didn’t save me. I nearly died!

 

I know! The thing is, Jan…

 

She hesitates, like this is really hard for her.

 

            …I froze

 

            Me too, I got hypothermia…

 

No, I mean froze. I tried to save you but…

 

What!?!

 

She turns away to hide the fact that she’s crying.

 

…I got scared! I am sorry, Jan, I am sosorry.

 

What shocks me is not that she apologized, it’s the fact that she pronounced my name with a Y, like she’d known how to do that all along.

 

She looks small, vulnerable, damaged. Then she runs, back to school, her clothes flapping in the wind like some raggedy puppet, getting smaller and smaller till she’s gone.

 

She seemed genuinely upset. It never occurred to me for one minute, that she might actually like me. Let’s hope she doesn’t tell Jug.